Watching the Pot

By Josh Hornbeck

The following story originally appeared in Buffalo Carp.
From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 8:30 AM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Last Night
Hey Chelsea!
     I just wanted to let you know I had a great time last night. It was great to finally hang out. I mean, it’s kind of funny that even though we pass each other on the street every day, this was the first time we were actually spent more than a few minutes with each other. It was nice to have a deeper conversation than the “Hey, how’s it going?” chit-chat we normally do. Anyway, I just wanted to say I had a great time. Oh! And you were right. Café Stampo is a great coffee shop – much better than Starbucks. I’ll have to start getting my morning mochas there from now on. Maybe then we’ll run into each other more often.
     I think the thing I enjoyed most about last night was the way we were able to just sit and talk, one on one. Talking over coffee is such a great way to get to know someone, isn’t it? I love living in the city, but it’s easy to feel like a stranger with everyone you meet. That’s the most frustrating thing about living here. It’s hard to get to know people when you’re too busy to say more than a quick “hello” and “goodbye.” I mean, from the few brief conversations we’ve had I never would have guessed that you worked in financial planning. You definitely don’t look like an accountant. Not that I didn’t think you were smart. I just meant you don’t normally see many young women working as accountants. Not that women can’t be accountants. It’s just that... Okay. I give up. I’m really putting my foot – or rather, my keyboard – in my mouth here, aren’t I? Maybe I’ll just change the subject to avoid any further email embarrassment.
     So do you have to work today, or do you have the day off? I don’t remember if you talked much about your normal work week, but I think I remember hearing you say that you worked weekends from time to time. Well, if you are slaving away behind a calculator (or do you do all that math in your head?), I hope you’re having a great day.
     Me? I don’t have anything special planned for the day. I just woke up and I’m relaxing a bit before I get moving. I was drinking my coffee and looking through the news online when I realized I should drop you a quick note to see how you’re doing. I have to say, I’m really glad I have the day off. I love working Monday to Friday, nine to five. No weekends for me. Not to rub it in or anything. (Ha, Ha)
     Well, anyway, I just wanted to say I had a great time last night and hope you did too. I’ll talk to you soon.
     Corey

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 11:00 AM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: More About Last Night
Hey there Chelsea,
     I bet you’re busy at work and the last thing you need is some random guy clogging up your inbox. Sorry to send you another message before you’ve had a chance to respond to the first one, but I really wanted to mention something I forgot to say in my last email. Well, I guess that isn’t exactly true. I didn’t forget about it. I was too nervous to say anything, so I left it out. But I know I’ll regret it if I don’t say something now. Fortune favors the bold and all that, right?
     Well, here it goes. I’m know it’s entirely possible that I’m reading more into last night than I should, but I felt like we really connected – especially when we started getting into our hopes and our dreams and our fears. Didn’t you feel that last night? I mean, wow. It really surprised me that we’re so similar and so compatible.
     You know, last night you said one thing I really appreciated. You were talking about your work and how you wanted it to be about more than just crunching numbers – you wanted to make a difference in people’s lives and in the culture and in the world. I feel the exact same way. I’ve done tech support for such a long time now that it’s easy for me to get bogged down in all the complaints and frustrations I face on a day to day basis. But it’s different if I realize that I’m helping people – even the assholes and bastards who love making my life miserable. My job is to make a difference in their day. Our conversation really inspired me to go back to work on Monday with a better attitude. So I guess I just wanted to say thanks and let you know that you really made a big impact on me last night.
     Well, now. I guess that wasn’t so bad, was it? So how’s work been? I’ve been taking it easy this morning. Had a nice leisurely breakfast and watched a little bad sci-fi TV. Not that I’m a nerd or geek or anything. I just like a bad sci-fi movie every now and then. And honestly, I feel like I’ve earned it, you know? I spend my entire week thinking and planning and struggling my way through customer complaints, so it’s nice to be able to turn my mind off for a few hours.
     Well, once again, I hope your day is going well. Drop me an email when you get a chance. By the way, when’s your lunch break? Maybe we can get together or something? Just let me know.
     Corey

From: Corey Alberts
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 12:30 Noon
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Lunch?
Chelsea,
     I guess you’re pretty busy and have to work through lunch, huh? That’s too bad. I have to say, I love my job’s very strict schedule. I always get a lunch break and I never have to work late or on the weekends. My bosses seem to think that if a customer can’t wait for an answer then they don’t need the help.
     I’ve just been hanging out at home all day. So if you get a chance to call or email, I should be around. I gave up on bad sci-fi half an hour ago and switched over to re-runs of “Dawson’s Creek.” Didn’t you say you loved that show? I never gave it much of a chance until you recommended it to me. And you know what? It’s not bad. I’m not saying I’m gonna go out and buy the DVD’s or anything, but when it’s on, I’ll definitely check it out. Hey, maybe we can catch an episode together sometime. I might get a little more insight into the show if I watch it with you.
     Okay, well, if you end up taking a later lunch or want to get together tonight or something, let me know. I’d love to see you if you get the chance.
     Corey

From: Corey Alberts
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 1:30 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Conversation Last Night
Chelsea,
     I’m been sitting here for a while, wondering why you haven’t written back yet. That’s when it hit me. I came on a little too strong last night, didn’t I? You probably think I’m one of those desperate guys who feels like he’s got to be in a relationship in order to be happy with himself or something. I’m not. Honestly. Last night, when I said I was looking for a long-term relationship, you thought I was a little too (I don’t know) clingy, didn’t you?
     Here’s the deal. I am looking for a long-term relationship, but I’m not naive enough to think that every girl I date is going to be “the one.” Eventually I want to get married and start a family, but I’m not saying you’re the person I want to settle down with. We hardly know each other for Christ’s sake. It’s just that I’m getting to the age where I don’t want to be stuck in a series of casual relationships. I would like to settle down eventually. But I’m not desperate for a serious relationship. You know?
     Well, I’m still here, so drop me a line when you get the chance.
     Corey

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 2:15 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Last Email
Chelsea,
     You know, I think you may have read that last email the wrong way. I can see how you might assume that I’m out there dating a lot of people and playing the field, but I’m not. Honestly, you’re the first person I’ve been out with in a long time. A very long time. I just want to make sure you know I’m not a player.
     And I’m not a social leper either. I have gone out on dates – I just don’t go out on a lot of dates. I’m starting to contradict myself, aren’t I? Okay, simple explanation: I’ve haven’t been on a date in a while, but I do go out on dates. There. Whew. I’m glad we cleared everything up. Aren’t you?
     Anyway... Email me. I’d love to talk. Or do something tonight. Let me know.
     Corey

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 3:05 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Where Are You?
Hey Chelsea,
     You haven’t responded to any of my messages yet. I just wanted to make sure you��re okay. And, to be completely honest, I am wondering why you haven’t emailed me back yet. Well, talk to you soon. (I hope)
     Corey

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 3:15 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Previous Relationships
Chelsea,
     I’m coming across as a total basket-case, aren’t I? Look, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. I have a lot of insecurity I have to work through. It’s all because of the last real relationship I was in.
     Karen and I dated for a long time. We got together while we were still in high school and decided to stay together once we left for college – once we left for separate colleges. That first year everything was great. We called each other every day and emailed each other every time we sat down at the computer. I’d fly out to see her one weekend a month and visa versa. It was tough, but we were able to make it work.
     During our second year things fell apart. She stopped returning my emails and phone calls. She pretended nothing was wrong and when I flew out to visit her things were great, but once I got back to school, she completely shut me out again. It wasn’t until my next visit (three months later) that she finally broke it off. Turns out she was seeing someone. Brad – the soccer player. I was devastated.
     I’ve been on dates since then, but I haven’t been in a real relationship since Karen screwed me over. Not that I’m bitter or anything. I’m completely over her. It’s just that when someone doesn’t answer my emails or return my phone calls it kind of brings up all of my insecurities. I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re to blame for the way I feel. I just wanted to let you know I can get a little weird from time to time and that’s the reason I’m sending you email after email right now. It’s one of my coping mechanisms. Think of it as a quirky and endearing quality.
     Anyway, I’m still home. So give me a call or hit the reply button or something.
     Corey

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 3:30 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: ???
     Okay. I know you’ve had the time to check your email at some point today. How hard is it to hit the reply button?

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 3:33 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Apology
Chelsea,
     I am so sorry for my last email. I know it probably seemed a little angry and I’m sure I just sent it because I was feeling frustrated. Please forgive me. I should really give myself some time to think things through and cool off before I start sending out messages, huh? Maybe that would keep me from sticking my foot (and computer – ha, ha) in my mouth all the time.
     Well I’ll be home for the rest of the day. So call me.
     Corey

From: Corey Albery
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 4:02 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Where Are You?
Chelsea,
     What’s going on? I called the bank to see how you were but they said you didn’t come in today. So where are you? You didn’t mention you’d be going out. I mean, is there someone else in your life I should know about?

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 4:48 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: A Couple of Thoughts
Chelsea,
     I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about – well, about everything. I really think we have an amazing opportunity to build a great relationship here. We are so perfect for each other. I could easily spend the rest of my life with someone like you. You’re everything I’ve ever looked for in a soul-mate, a life-partner, a wife – whatever word you want to use – and I can see you filling that hole in my life.
     But we’ll never be able to reach our potential as a couple if you don’t start being honest with me. I mean, we need to have complete and total, open communication between us if it’s going to work out. If you’ve been seeing someone else, just be honest and tell me. There’s so much potential here and I really think we can work through anything – but only if we’re honest with each other.
     Corey

From: Chelsea Richards
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 5:03 PM
To: Corey Albert
Subject: RE: All
Corey,
     I had a really nice time last night too, but I think you misinterpreted my feelings, the situation... the entire evening. We ran into each other at the coffee shop. It was never a date. Sure, we talked. Sure, we had a conversation. But I never once gave you the slightest hint that we were out ‘together.’ I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in you. I’ve never been interested in you. And when I got home and saw the fifty emails you left me, it kind of creeped me out. So please, never email me again. Don’t call, don’t write, don’t stop by my work. Try to avoid running into me in the neighborhood if it’s possible. You seem like a nice enough guy, but honestly, you’re a little intense for me. So please, just leave me alone.
     Chelsea

From: Corey Albert
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 5:15 PM
To: Chelsea Richards
Subject: Clarification
Chelsea,
     So, let me get this straight. It’s just tonight that you wanted me to stop emailing you, right?

(Posted 09/29/2009)